As details begin to emerge following the suicide of Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington, loved ones and fans are trying to piece together what happened.
But now, in what turned out to be his final interview, the unique singer known for his fusion of melodic and “screamer” vocals was struggling with an internal battle against depression.
In an exclusive obtained by the Mirror, Chester’s words were cryptic and valiant:
“I came to a point in my life where I was like, ‘I can either just give up and fucking die or I can fucking fight for what I want,’” he said to interviewer Will Lavin, “And I chose to fight for what I wanted. I wanted to have good relationships. I wanted to love the people in my life. I wanted to enjoy my job.”
He added, “I wanted to enjoy being a dad and having friends and just getting up in the morning. Because that was a struggle for me.”
According to law enforcement, Chester hung himself from a door in his Palos Verdes residence, where his body was discovered by his housekeeper.
On the day of his suicide, he was actually scheduled for a photoshoot with his bandmates, one of which had arrived to pick up Chester, only to find police at the scene.
“Never the same” after the suicide of his friend Chris Cornell, said Chester’s friends.
The band’s most recent album, “One More Light,” was described by him as a “very therapeutic” and “personal” project:
“It’s hard. You know? Instinctively I want to make the river flow where I want it to flow and I want to make the water be calm when I want it to be calm.
“It takes a lot of patience to just let things happen as they’re happening and just ride it out. And I feel like that’s where I’m at in life right now.
“I’m just going to focus on what’s going on right now and make the best of the situation no matter what it is.
“I’m not going to question it or analyse it in any way because that’s me going back to my old behaviour where I was trying to control everything.
“One More Light is for us a very personal and very therapeutic kind of record.
“We got into a lot of aspects of our lives that we probably wouldn’t have normally shared with anyone and just dealt with it on our own.”